Orientation is over, classes have begin, and I'm stressed as hell.

I'm not exactly sure what the UCC is, and yet I'm expected to understand its legislative history

I don't know what the 14th amendment says (something about guns?), and yet I'm expected to interpret the due process clause

I'm expected to say 'tortfeasor' with a straight face (hint: this is actually impossible)

Schnell v. Nell is an ACTUAL case name. How in God's name am I to keep the plaintiff separate from the defendant?

I understand why lawyers are unhappy and alcoholics - they have to read boring cases written in terrible prose by shitty reasoners who make up the rules according to their personal policy whims (I kid, I kid - this only explains the alcoholism).